Sunday, 16 October 2016

The Single Bodybuilder

I don’t tend to share much about my love life on social media (and rightly so, in my opinion it’s not the place for it) so I was a little wary about posting this but thought it might ring true with a few readers…and may provide a giggle or two for others (at my expense and I’m perfectly ok with that haha)
 
So I’ve been single for about 3 years now and only been bodybuilding for one year so I can’t blame it all on that; although it would be nice and possibly deter me from questioning any other reason why I may still be single hmmm…….
 
On a few occasions I’ve been asked ‘do you think it will be difficult to meet someone now you’re into all of this ‘bodybuilding business’?’ The question is often accompanied by sympathetic looks of concern that make the question pretty much rhetorical to me and might as well have been phrased alternatively that in their opinion I’ll be single forever whilst ever I’m obsessed with lifting weights, spotting new veins and drinking protein shakes.
 
And I’m not going to challenge that notion too much as believe me it often enters my head too after yet another year of unsuccessful dating since I returned home after my travels.
 
I won’t focus on any other possible explanations for being single as this is a health & fitness blog (and I also don’t want to get into that depressing realm) so I’ll focus in on some of the struggles I’ve experienced whilst dating over the last 12 months from when I began my bodybuilding journey.

 
 
I remember a date I went on around a year ago. It was a second date after date number one had gone as okay as first dates ever go amongst the generally awkward chit-chat that leaves me wishing I was back at home in my pyjamas with no social life. But anyway date number two came along and the cinema was the place of choice (not ideal I know given you can’t talk but then again it rules out the awkward chit-chat possibility and I really wanted to see the movie). All was going ok until a realisation part-way through the film. As I sat there I noticed my quads were bigger than his and with ‘another one bites the dust’ ringing profusely in my ears that was the end of that. At just 5’1” tall so relatively small across the board, if your legs don’t outsize mine then I’m sorry but it just aint happening! Next!  
 
Dating on prep was close to impossible. I did used to swipe through Tinder to pass the time, on one of many nights sat in munching broccoli while my friends were out painting the town red. I think I enjoyed the ‘game’ more than anything of swiping…ooh yes he’s nice, NOOOO, not a chance, yes nice eyes, oh he trains yep that’s good and so it went on. When it did turn from a swiping game into any form of conversation I instantly couldn’t be bothered (I know, never happy, right?) because it often followed the same pattern time and time again. The very original chat up line of ‘hey, how are you?’ pretty much sent me to sleep instantly and on the rare occasion it didn’t the conversation often soon came to an abrupt end at one of two points.
 
Either at the mere mention of being ‘a bodybuilder’ as I’m sure guys were sitting there imagining the stereotypical image of a female bodybuilder often on a stash of gear and looking completely unnatural and in my opinion not very attractive. Or when I posed the challenge that I couldn’t go out for a meal, wasn’t allowed to have an alcoholic drink and that I wasn’t particularly keen on the thought of a cinema date when I wasn’t allowed any popcorn. Not your easiest first date hey? And I’m not going to lie, I was horrible on prep most of the time. Moody, hangry (hungry-angry), frustrated to name but a few emotions so I don’t think I was the most pleasant girl to talk to let’s be honest.
 
And then you come across the guys that try and pretend to be into their keep fit just to impress you. That’s one thing that really annoys me. It’s not essential for me to date someone who’s a bodybuilder and I would much rather someone be true to themselves and say actually I hate working out than pretend to enjoy it just because they think it’s what I want to hear. It was always an immediate off-put as being independent myself, the thought of a guy not being able to have his own mind just doesn’t do it for me.
 
There have been many occasions in the last year when I’ve thought about whether being a bodybuilder will make finding someone more difficult (and believe me it is difficult anyway trying to date in the 21st century – you singletons out there will agree with me wholeheartedly I think). And I don’t know the answer to that in all honesty. I look at many fellow competitors who are in relationships so I know it’s not impossible; although I note that many of them also date bodybuilders so potentially that may be telling me it will be difficult for me to find someone who isn’t in this ‘world’ and that rules out a large amount of the population.
 
A guy I spent some time with earlier in the year said to me on one occasion ‘you’ll find it hard to meet someone whilst ever you’re doing this Bec’ – and that really stuck in my head as he took his training seriously, whilst never having competed before, so to hear someone who knows what it’s all about make that comment, made me question that myself a little bit more.
 
I have THE best friends so 'date night' is often spent with these babes!
 
My dating life has become a bit of a joke (in the nicest way possible) in the office amongst some of my closest colleagues with many a Friday having the usual conversation of plans for the weekend, to which I’ll occasionally hopelessly say I’ve got a date. Soon followed by the Monday morning conversation which generally goes along the lines of ‘yeah, never mind, not the one’. I’m sure it provides much entertainment for my work colleagues at least.
 
I don’t know whether bodybuilding makes my dating life harder. I do know it doesn’t make me the easiest person in the world to be with. I spend a lot of hours in the gym (on top of working a lot of hours and studying), my diet is somewhat restricted and I spend a minimum of 4 months per year on prep being a stroppy little carb-deprived cow that can’t go out for a meal or enjoy any breaks during that time. And that timeframe will only potentially get longer the more I get into the bodybuilding world.
 
But I love bodybuilding. I love what it’s brought to my life and how it’s changed me as a person. And that’s not something I’m willing to sacrifice for someone. One thing I know for sure is that it’s going to take someone special, whether they’re in the bodybuilding world or not, to take me on. I realise I’m not the easiest girl in the world to date. But I sure as hell know that I deserve that someone special so until someone comes along that can deal with my good, my bad and my ugly I’ll continue to take the world on, on my own.
 
Watch this space!

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